Saturday 14 May 2011

Getting my mind into a healthy place.

I woke up this morning, and realised this last few days I have been thinking more and more about FULL recovery. I don't want to binge. I don't want to purge. I don't want to restrict. I want to be able to nourish my body with the nutrients it needs so I can run, work and have fun. Calorie counting makes me boring. Restricting for just a month makes me feel worthless and disgusting.

SO
I have decided to try and  eat healthily. Normally after a relapse I BINGE for around a week, but I am going to take this recovery one step at a time. Eating good foods that will fill me up and not trigger binges. So lots of fruit, veg, protein, etc. With the occasional treat thrown in.

For breakfast I have ready brek with a fat free yoghurt.

As much as it makes me want to cry I need to realise I'm never going to be really thin. This is my body, and my shape. I need to learn how to accept this. 

5 comments:

Sairs said...

I'm glad you've made this choice, it can be hard to get there. I also have to accept my new body because the weight that used to so easily come off, is stuck there. I am going to accept myself too. Happy for you!
*hugs*
Sarah

Anonymous said...

This post makes me smile. Your last few posts about your eating disorder really concerned me because it sounded like you were buying into the disease's lies. But this post sounds empowering! You don't need to restrict. You don't need to binge. You don't need to purge. You DO need to nourish your body, like you said. And the more we try to control ourselves and our bodies the worse things become.

I know it's difficult to stop, so I am here to help if you need anything.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Lisa said...

YES YES YES!!!!! you can do this. :)

I'm so glad to read this post.

xoxo
-Lisa

emmeepee said...

im so proud of you! you go girl <3
kisses,
emmeepee

lisalisa said...

I can really empathise with the last sentance. I am not naturally thin and part of my recovery has been accepting that.