I woke up this morning, and realised this last few days I have been thinking more and more about FULL recovery. I don't want to binge. I don't want to purge. I don't want to restrict. I want to be able to nourish my body with the nutrients it needs so I can run, work and have fun. Calorie counting makes me boring. Restricting for just a month makes me feel worthless and disgusting.
I have decided to try and eat healthily. Normally after a relapse I BINGE for around a week, but I am going to take this recovery one step at a time. Eating good foods that will fill me up and not trigger binges. So lots of fruit, veg, protein, etc. With the occasional treat thrown in.
For breakfast I have ready brek with a fat free yoghurt.
As much as it makes me want to cry I need to realise I'm never going to be really thin. This is my body, and my shape. I need to learn how to accept this.