In the last month two of my friends have asked me to model for them, for photography portfolios. I did this for a few friends a while ago, but I feel so apprehensive to the idea of having people take pictures of me....look at photos of me....judge me. The idea of posing and them seeing me and thinking 'I shouldn't of asked her, she's got bigger' makes me feel sick.
I know I couldn't deal with any more modelling after having a self portrait done in Paris. People walked past and looked at it and me and I felt so awful, like I knew they were saying stuff and I was so anxious.
Right now I feel so, so big. I lost 2lbs in Paris, so overall I've lost 4lbs in 9 days. Need to loose more. So badly.
I had too much for dinner. 1 and a half jacket potatoes with beans and cheese, a big yogurt and some sweets. Feel disgusting.
Want to CUT the fat off my thighs.