Tuesday, 27 September 2011

For the first time in over 6 months I made myself sick. About an hour ago. I ate too much, then suddenly I realised no one was watching me. No one here knows my past, and my problems with bulimia. I have a freakin' en suite. It was so easy. 
University is hard. I haven't even started lectures and I already feel overwhelmed and out of control. I got on to the cheerleading team though :)

This week I have broken so many of my own morals. I had a one night stand with a guy my friend is in love with. I drank too much. I made myself sick. 

I think I deserve a pat on the back haha.

Friday, 9 September 2011

Hello, welcome to fat arse anon. You may join.

GUYS. I HAVE GONE UP A JEAN SIZE. I have also appeared to have acquired a less than flattering pot belly and a complementary 5lbs. Add to that a coach potato attitude and I'm well on the way to be being OOOBBEEESEEE. Okay that's an exaggeration. STILL. Yuck. 

I go to university in a week. I DON'T want to go feeling this horrid about myself. I KNOW restricting isn't a long term solution, so I think I just need to up my exercise (this week I've done nothing).

Urgh my life is falling down around me, All the things I decided I don't want to do (not getting drunk, not sleeping around, not restricting) all seem so flippin appealing right now.

I'm failing.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Bingeday Wednesday.

Today I had a binge relapse. I haven't binged like today in a decent amount of time. So in this post I want to discuss some personal triggers. First just a taste of what I binged on: 
A TON of marshmallows. Like half a bag.
3 chocolate bars.
2 packets of crisps.
Well you get the picture, there was quite a lot more than that it's all just piled up into mindless eating.

So what are my triggers?

1. CHANGE. Lots of different types of changes throw my eating. I notice I binge more after holidays, if I'm staying in a different house, if my routine changes (new job, change in family dynamics etc.) Now I can't control these changes so what can I do? How can I prepare myself?

2. BOREDOM: Oh my goodness when I'm bored I can EAT. It's just mindless grabbing from the fridge. I think that was why I overate today. I literally sat around doing nothing watching trash on TV. 

3. STRESS: Family stress, friend stress, work stress..you get the picture.

So I would say these are my top three triggers. I could really do with some tips on how to stop the binges and carry on eating in a normal, healthy way. Thanks lovelies!