Monday, 22 March 2010

End of a (not so cheery) era.

This weekend was my final cheerleading competition. I can't afford to carry on. It was nationals and we came 2nd out of 13(we were very very pleased, our flyer was sick 10 mins before we went on and had to swap people round). I'm going to miss it so, it's a place I felt so real, so happy there. But I've recently been considering if maybe cheerleading is a bit of a trigger. The other girls on my squad are so tiny, and I remember thinking "this is the first time my weight has ever stopped me from doing something(being a flyer)".

My mind is in a very odd place right now. Half way between recovery and relapse. I really don't know where I stand.

Anyway, I have to go get dinner ready. Au revoir.

THANK YOU for the looovvveelllyyy comments all, I appreciate them so much.



mariposai said...

Recovery is full of uncertain days, but I have a good feeling about you and your recovery miss, because I think you have the strength and determination to see it through, even through the more difficult times ;)

Keep up the good work...if cheerleading is a trigger, then you might be right in putting this aside for the meantime, whatever works best for you and your recovery. Well done in the competition though!

Sarah x

Sairs said...

I agree with Sarah. I know that this kinda sucks but I think to recover we do have to give up these things to keep moving forward.

Nikki said...

That state of mind is really confusing, at least it was for me! Do as your heart tells you, I will be proud of you no matter what you do