Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Average me.


All I will ever be is average. Average grades. Average weight. Average fashion. Average job. I hate average, and it scares me that I will always be this average girl.

So last post showed how my emotions confuse me. I've started writing down how I physically feel (jumpy, butterflies in stomach) and connect it with how I feel emotionally (nervous, angry). I'm starting to try and piece together how I feel, and how that effects what I eat/don't eat.

Opinions please: nature or nurture? What has the greatest impact on starting an ED/mental illness? We had a debate about this in our psychology class, very very interesting! I can't make up my mind on which side I'm more on.. So on the nature side- an ED is in our genes, it's pre programmed into us. Nurture: Our environment/society/upbringing causes us to start the ED behaviour.

I just brought a jacket which I loooovveee, so I thought I would show it. And I need to get over being so ashamed of my body. So here is a picture. I'm the one on the right.

5 comments:

Andy said...

hello.
you are beautiful.
not average.
like seriously that picture is stunning.
and i love your jacket.
for years i longed to be average. i just wanted to fit in with everyone else.
but i think that it is up to us.
You can be more than average dear.
i dont know how yet. but im going to figure it out.
and you can too.
i think itll be a beautiful journey.

and i have no idea about the nature / nurture thing.
mine is more nature, but i only know that because i had no idea what an eating disorder was when i first made myself purge and skipped lunch.

hope your day is going well!
Love, Andy

Calla said...

you are absolutely gorgeous. nowhere near average!

for me its mostly nurture. i grew up around constant conversation about diet and weight. first cried about my body in a bathing suit when i was something like 7? but maybe it was nature, too. it seems to be deeply ingrained into all the women on my mothers side of the family. but that raises the question of their own nature vs. nurture, and thats a little more complication than i'd like to leave in your comments box.

but you are lovely, and that jacket is fabulous.
<3

sunshine said...

You are soo pretty! Not average at all :)

As for the nature/nuture q...I'm not sure, a bit of both I think. Though I'm more leaning towards nature...I think perhaps it is in our genes but it needs the right (or wrong) environment to trigger it...

*hugs* xo

Sairs said...

You are so beautiful. Don't ever think you are not. You are more than average, much more than average. Please remember that. You need to be gentle with yourself, let yourself relax and feel good about yourself (easier said than done, I know). I'm thinking of you!
*hugs*
Sarah

mariposai said...

One word for that photo - gorgeous. There is no such thing as average cos everyone is unique in their own way. There is no one just like you, and there is no blog exactly like yours...and you are one lovely young lady my dear :-) I would have to say that nature/biology predisposes and nurture triggers off the problem.

Sarah x