Tuesday, 16 February 2010

The mock turtle's story.

Who loves Alice in Wonderland? *raises hand eagerly* . I don't mean the silly disney version, I mean the book. Last night was a no sleep night, so divulged myself in some Wonderland. There are some brilliant quotes in there, "being so many sizes in one day is very confusing", "I can't explain myself, because I am not myself" and one of my favourites "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise that what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not other wise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."

So anyway, Alice aside yesterday was interesting. I think I may have got another modelling shoot, with a friend of a friend who is a hair dresser/make up artist who needs to build up her portfolio. Watch this space!

On food matters...LENT! Actually can't wait, I'm giving up all sweet things, my list got a little carried away: Chocolate, sweets, cake, honey, syrup, peanut butter, croissant, bread (because this is sweet?!?) and cereal. I think this is going to realllllllly help me!

Ok. Taboo topic. Religion. I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I'll give you my 'religious background': was brought up in a strong Christian home, went to church every Sunday and Tuesday and love it, mainly the social side. My only beliefs developed and I decided I believed in God/Jesus etc. So anyway...how does this relate to an ED? I head you asking. Well because I am the only child left who goes to church (bro and sis hate anything to do with it) my parents put me under a lot of pressure to be a 'Good Christian'. This pressure freaked me out bad, and I think the pressure was one of the things that led to my ED (needing to be perfect blah blah blah) I disagree with my parents thinking the rules are so important, I think it's not about that (My reason to drink/ have sex/ swear/general 'unchristianly' behaviour.)

Anyway that was a slightly odd mini rant...would love to hear your opinions?

Battle x

p.s Thank you sooooooo much for the comments on the pictures, made me feel better about putting them up!! Love you all.


Sairs said...

I just wanted to say thanks for you lovely amazing comments. They really help me and I love to read them. I haven't read alice, maybe I should. I'm still reading the werewolf book. I can't believe how long it's taking me. I remember days when I'd read a book in a day !

*Princess*Smile* said...

not into religion myself, but I do believe in fate and Karama. But I can see how your parents putting pressure on you to maintain such a high and perfect standard of living could count towards your ED, its difficult trying to be perfect all the time.
Hope you figure things out, religion can be a toughie!
Also those Alice in wonderland quotes were really good, strange how you can find a new meaning in something old one you mindset has changed.

Much Love

Alice said...

If you lived anywhere near me, Battle, I would totally take a gazillion pictures of you.

But moving on, I think being a perfectionist or forcing someone to maintain perfect standards pushes them towards a need to control everything. Or to be extremely self critical.

Also, sweets shouldn't be entirely too hard to give up, but you should keep a bit of dark chocolate on hand. It satisfies your sweet tooth and keeps you from eating everything else.