Oh crap. Oh shit. Fuck. Bugger. (scuse the language). I binged. Fuck me I'm stupid. I write "ohh I don't need to binge...ohh yay". Well stupid me has to fuck it up. I can't do anything right. Just put down the stupid crisps/toast/pizza/cheese. So all my hopes for maintaining my weight until tomorrow are gone. I will be up and I will hate it. The horrible guilt is starting to hit me.
Sorry for the rant. Just really pissed off at myself. And my upper arms are huge. They used to be a part of my body I didn't mind. Now they are just fucking disgusting. And today someone said I looked bloated. That was before the binge. I had only eaten half a potato in 40 hours. What the fuck. Sorry I will shut my big fat mouth now. Maybe I should just sew my lips together so I can't eat.
On a lighter note, shopping tomorrow and saturday, you got to love shopping.
Argh. Stupid fucking me.
Ohhhh yeh, also I may decide, that when lent finishes if my weight has not got to a level where I am happy (126lbs or below) I will attempt recovery. ED just shouted at me when I wrote that, "Recovery from what? You fat ass piece of shit. Stop pitying yourself and do what I say and loose some weight." I'm so crap today.
Sorry for the depressing post, it's just my mood.