Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Upset by triggering book.

Stupidly this morning I brought a book I knew I would find triggering. Literally a minute ago I came across a line that had me turn over the book and nearly start crying:


"She stepped on the scales and was heavier than she thought (she was heading for nasty nine stone.)"

Seriously. I'm upset by that. I am over this weight and it just makes me feel like a failure. Like I'm nasty for being over that weight..it says it there....clearly...in writing....NASTY NINE STONE.

It's my own fault. I shouldn't have brought the book.

7 comments:

Sia Jane said...

Go check me out and see what you think :p
I weigh something pretty similar and I like to think of 9st as fabulous, healthy, amazing and truly beautiful.
And the VERY LEAST I should weigh.
You deserve to heal.
You deserve to recover.
Keep that focus.
Because losing weight, is only losing more of you, which only goes one way.
You deserve MORE
xxxxx

Lisa said...

Hey babe
You're beautiful I'm sure and 9 stone isn't fat. It's not. throw that book in the trash. It doesn't belong in your sight. You deserve better.
xoxo
-Lisa

NOS said...

This book sounds awful. How is it helping anyone to share numbers in that way? And weight is all relative-- I don't know how much a stone is, but I know that different heights require different weights. For example, if you're, say, 100 pounds and you're 4'0", you are probably overweight. But if you're 100 pounds and you're 6'0", then you are grossly underweight. So don't judge yourself based on this shitty, shitty book. What your body needs is what your body needs.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Sairs said...

I agree, I threw out all my books that were triggering. I didn't need them around. They didn't help. I think your healthy eating and exercise is the way to go. I don't know about stone either but others have pointed out that that is not fat.
*hugs*
Sarah

i love bows:) said...

bet i can guess which book that is. sometimes its hard-i have a feeling that i really want to read things that will make me feel like im not so alone in all this, and that people get it. but they are enevitably triggering, its in the nature if the topic.

i know you might not believe it-and neither do i , sometimes, but that is a really normal (and quite low weight) for a healthy female adult. sorry.def not preaching, just wanted to throw that in.

love you. i hope your ok, you know you can email m anytime, ok babe.

I AM NOT recomending a book to trigger you here before everyone goes off at me. but there is an amzingly inspring book about a girl who got ill, got better, and fitted all the pieces together. the ending fills me with realistic hope-that its not out of reach. but the beginning is quite difficult, with some numbers. if you would like the title i willl give it to you, im pretty sure its kept me alive for a few years :)

lots of love el's xxxxxx

i love bows:) said...

also, lovely words SIa!!!

Haley said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's hard for us to see numbers that some see as "fat" when that's what is recommended to us by others as what is healthy! And that's what our bodies see as healthy, too!
But just know that your body/mind is so much happier and in a better place now than when you were restricting. I'm proud of you for reaching out for help on here! Don't let others voices and opinions bother you. Your recovery is about you, your health, body, happiness. Trust that God will take care of you.
<3