I have been trying recently not to drink when I go out. This has lasted about 3 months, and in all fairness it hasn't been hard (because I haven't been out...at all). So on Friday night I thought screw it...I'm going clubbing! Me and my best friend started pre drinking at hers at about 8. I think in total that night I drank: one bottle of cocktails (9 units) 1 vodka shot, 2 vodka and lemonades, and that is where my memory goes a little blurry...I remember being at the bar a lot..oh dear. I kissed a few too many guys. The next day I had big issues at work and had to go hoome early. I'm mad at myself for all this. I just get so out of control. But when I'm on a night out I can't help but drink, I feel so much more confident.
Another reason for me NOT to drink is that I always seem to weigh less the next day, which is a real trigger, also I feel so hungover the next day I eat very little...loose more weight and just KEEP getting triggered. It's my own fault for weighing myself. But that's me.
I'm not feeling so great at the moment. I'm not feeling bad, just not good. Flat. I'm really really struggling to talk properly to anyone, including my mentor. I'm driving myself back to isolation and it doesn't feel so good.
Sorry for being so shit with comments etc.