Today and yesterday have been good food days (even though it's only 9AM so far today. Yesterday was Exam Day. I had my porridge, went out for cake and coffee with my mum at mid morning, had scrambled egg for lunch and headed out for my exam. It went...ohhh I don't know, I can never quite grasp how exams went, I tend to get the opposite of how I thought it went. Got home, and did have a bit to much to eat, I had: a yoghurt, a chocolate bar and a bag of maltesers. This felt like WAY to much for a snack, and I could tell that I was in binge mode, which meant I would of purged. So I sat down and distracted myself. Stayed with that weird feeling of WANTING to binge...like every cell in your body just wants to be packed with food. But I got through it, and was able to have dinner with my family. Done.
Today I was feeling so uncomfortable when I woke up, all I wanted to do was restrict and leave out breakfast because I wasn't hungry. BUT I remembered all your lovely comments and encouragement and just sat down and ate. Done.
OHOHOH good news, I haven't weighed myself for....2 days! I know that seems nothing, but considering normally I weigh myself on average of 8-9 times a day, then this is a big deal.
Last night I sobbed. Completely weeped. Because of a book, the most heart wrenching, amazing book I have read. It's called the shaming of the strong...or something like that. It's an autobiography of a woman who gets pregnant with a baby who will die straight after they are born. Instead of deciding to terminate it, she decides to stay with the baby, and love it for as long as she can. She names her, makes her some clothes, talks to her. It was the most moving book I've ever read, every few pages I had to stop reading, calm down, pull myself together and carry on reading. Most of the time I couldn't read through the tears.
I know this was a higgldey piggldey post, but I just wanted to write!
Question time! First off, thankyou for answering my last questions, it seems that Wicked got the majority! And in response to the what would you tell someone starting an ED, the resounding answer was STOP THEM AT ANY COST.
1. You have to rename the stone 'diamond', what do you call it?
2. You're stuck on a desert island with no internet, signal etc. You can take one thing, but that thing can't be something that helps you get off the island. What do you choose?