Sunday, 13 June 2010

Keeping accountable.

I would LOVE to tell you that I have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday since Friday. But that would be lying. Here is a journal extract from this weekend:

Friday: I ate my breakfast, feeling super, super positive about life,food and revision I even had lunch! Dinner came around with the family and we had fish and chips. I was going to go to the gym but my friend called me up and invited me round for a barbecue. I went. And ate another dinner. And then walked to the supermarket. And ate more. and more. Until I thought I was going to explode. I didn't purge.

Saturday: Woke up feeling tremendously guilty. Weighed myself...gain of 2lbs. Didn't eat breakfast. Ate junk food: 2 doughnuts,a chocolate ├ęclair, a packet of hula hoops. Then went to my friends party, and ate more and more and more. So embarrassed and out of control. Went out for a night on the town, even though my exam is in 3 days. Drank: 5 glasses of wine, 3 jagerbombs, 1 sambuca and a VK. (luckily I'm hardcore - I wasn't even that drunk).

Sunday:Arrived back at my friends after town at 4 AM. Walked home at 6. Weighed myself: 0.6lbs less. Must of been the dancing. Feeling massive amounts of guilt for not purging more.


Still, even though I've had a really rubbish food weekend, the social side has been AWESOME! Her are some pictures:











So there is the accountable version of my weekend.

Questions.
1. Is Sex and the City realistic? Do you think anyone ACTUALLY lives like that?
2. If you could change your name, what would it be to?

6 comments:

i love bows:) said...

Love the maxi dresses:)you look gorgeous:)

it always seems to be one or the other with me-good food week, or good social week!im sure there are many reasons for this, but right now its a bit too much for my addles brain to think about.

obviously, people wear clothes EXACTLY like carrie all the time:p

i always wanted to be called Edith, or Dora

xxxxx

mariposai said...

You look beautiful and I love the summery dresses. I think you should be proud of yourself for not purging. Sure, your eating has seen some ups and downs over the last few days, but there are plenty positives, and you dealt with unpredictable situations food-wise. It seems like perhaps some structure would help with the eating, but you will get there :-)

Sarah x

Sairs said...

I like the dress too and you are very beautiful. I'm sorry you are struggling with continuing to eat regularly, I did too until I found out I stayed the same when I did eat regularly, though it was so so so so hard to trust that. I think it got taken out of my hands when I got depression recently and I didn't care and by then I had gone through the fluctuation stage already. I'm glad you had a good night out.
*hugs*
Sarah

now.is.now said...

Oh, I hate the feeling of eating out of a rhythm. Eating, the guilt, leading to skipping something, leading to unsure hesitation about "to eat again or not to eat," leading to weird eating, leading to increasing guilt... and it just spirals and it feels awful. So, I'm sorry you experienced "uneven eating" this weekend. I'm glad you had a great time socially, though, and I LOVE your dress! you are too cute! Try to take the choice out of eating - no matter waht, you have to eat 3 meals - no matter what happened the night before, the morning before, that afternoon... no matter where you're about to go or what's going to happen, etc. I think when you take the choice out of eating, it helps to alleviate the guilt and the yucky-feeling that comes with eating... and that all helps to smooth out your eating (just my experience anyway)

A@ Please Don't Eat Me! said...

first off: love the dress, you look gorgeous
second: Sex and the City seems so far fetched to me, but then i turn on Real Housewives and it doesnt seem that far off..
third: Christine, i love that name!
fourth: it's hard to get into a healthy rythmn with food then something throws you for a loop and instead of fixing it, we try to sabatoge it.. ive been there so much.. i dont know that there is an easy fix, besides brushing yourself off and starting all over again tomorrow..

lisalisa said...

Holy crap thats alot of booze ;)!

I have never seen sex and the city, so I don't know. The commercials alone are enough for me.

I would change my name to Isobel, or maybe Lillian. I wanted to name my Annie "Lillian" and my husband was like "no, that's and old lady name!". Whatever.

:)