I have some news which I hope you will like: today at exactly quarter to ten, I got up from revision. Went downstairs. Got a bowl. And made porridge. Cut up half a banana and got some walnuts. I then ate it. All of it. This is the first time I have eaten breakfast in months.
Your comments really put things into perspective, I read them through this morning and cried at your loveliness, hearing these things are hard to take in, and I honestly don't think I would have got the courage this morning to eat breakfast without the encouragement you gave me. Thank you so much.
I want to live in the present - not worrying about lunch...not worrying about dinner...not worrying about the scales. And to do that I just need to respond to my hunger signals as they come. When I realise I feel hungry I can get a snack, or eat my meal. I eat it slowly and mindfully, thinking about how I feel while I eat, and when I feel full I'm going to put down my knife and fork, and stop eating.
I'm expecting ups and downs.
1. I think I feel a bit relieved. Relieved that I think I'm going to be okay.
2. I still feel apprehensive and a bit scared about: looking fat on holiday, getting really bloated, my Mum saying I look a bit 'big'. I'm worried that tomorrow my weight is going to be really 'high'.
3. I'm worried that I'm going to put on a lot of weight, all I want to do is maintain.
But the things I'm worried about are in the future, so right now, right this very second I don't need to worry.
Quick question: How do you maintain your weight? I'm thinking logically, and the weight I am right now is probably the weight me and my body is happiest at. It's in the healthy BMI range and it's a weight I feel 'comfortable' in.
1. Yesterday night I couldn't sleep because I was hungry. The fact is: I don't want to feel like this because it reflects badly on my grades, and this is an important time where I need energy to revise.
2. Even if I do go up in weight tomorrow that will be because I have been eating so little and my body is readjusting.
So there we go! Sometimes you've got to go through tough emotions (see last post) to get to these brighter ones. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and I think I just found it.
1. What are some examples of good, healthy, filling snacks for in-between meals?
2. have you got any tips for staying in the present...not worrying about the future etc?
3. You can change the colour of the sky. What colour do you change it to?