The usual warning - please don't read if triggered easily!!!
This last week my behaviour has been getting a bit 'out of hand'. This is bad news, but for some sick and twisted reason I am happy about this (in a weird ED way). I don't eat breakfast (black coffee please!). I eat 2 pieces of fruit OR vegetables for lunch, and I eat a normal family dinner. I know this isn't really extreme, but I can feel my thoughts getting more and more obsessed with calories/ sat fat grams etc.
I'll give you a run down of today's out of hand behaviour. No breakfast, 5 cherry tomatoes and 1 red pepper for lunch. Dinner: My parents gave us a 'treat' and let us have fish and chips from the shop. I got a battered sausage and chips. Then felt bingey and had crunchy nut cornflakes. Following the guilt I followed I went to the gym and burnt 510 cals (NOT ENOUGH my brain was screaming at me. I wanted to work out more, but I had severe stomach cramps from eating to much). I arrived home and this is where things got a little odd for me. I generally can't purge after 15 minutes of eating. By this time it was an hour and a half after dinner. I went to the bathroom and started being a little sick....but (sorry this is gross) I wasn't sticking my fingers down my throat, I was just pressing my stomach. I've NEVER been able to do this. I think this behaviour was partly because I didn't reach the goal weight I'd set myself this week.
In other (positive) news I QUIT MY JOB!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! WOOOOP! I just thought "I don't have to keep putting up with this sh*t job." I gave my boss 3 days notice and today was my last day! Can I hear a hallelujah!!!
In other (negative) news, I'm not really sure if I should keep this blog. I feel like I'm letting you all down, and that what I right is very boring/has got a lot worse.
But I can't bare the thought of not keeping up to date with all of your blogs!!
Anyway my lovelies I am off to watch Sex and the city (my 6th episode in 2 days).