Pride comes before a fall.

I posted a post a few days ago about how well I was doing with food. Today I had such a crap day, I ate so much and for the first time in AGES I found my self in the bathroom, about to vomit. Thank God I stopped myself in time. But on a good note I didn't weigh myself today (feels like a very small victory compared to the crappiness that was the rest of the day.)

In the space of a day my mind has started idolising  restrictive behaviour. But the thing that weirdly upsets me is that I know I can't restrict. I know I will just binge later. I guess I really will NEVER be as thin as I'd like.

Okay to stop this turning into the start of a relapse, here is my list of why NOT to restrict:

• The only weigh to loose weight is to eat healthy, proper meals and do some exercise. Even though I shouldn't loose weight if I'm going to RESTRICTING WON'T HELP.
• Restricting means feeling tired, grumpy, angry, faint. 
• Restricting means my mind will start obsessing about weight, food, calories, which I KNOW is not a fun place to be. 
• Restricting leads to binges, which leads to purging which leads to restricting. And the cycle carries on. 
• I AM NOT DEFINED BY MY WEIGHT. 
• God loves me no matter what my weight is.