Friday, 2 April 2010

Happy Birthday sister.

My beautiful sister is 14 today, we've had a great day, we went to 'Go Ape' which is a high wire assault course (giant assault course high in the trees). I went about 3 years ago and was quite scared of heights, but today I totally embraced it and had an amazing time! It made me feel like I could do anything if I want to.
These last few days I have been wanting to restrict the whole time. I didn't eat breakfast yesterday went to the gym instead, had a little soup for lunch and a spag bol for dinner, weighed myself this morning, lost 1lb. Today I've been wanting to restrict but haven't been able to since it's J's birthday, so had a croissant for breakfast, a hot dog for lunch and a piece of cake for the sister's birthday. I think this restricting business is to do with seeing all my friends getting thinner while I'm putting on weight, I find it so uncomfortable.
My Grandad's birthday is tomorrow. I don't think he knows, he was in a car accident 5 years ago and doesn't remember much and is confused a lot of the time. I don't know how to reach out to him, he's not had a good life. He used to love to get out of the house and go cycling, walking, jogging, and now he can barely walk. He was in the army and now he can't read. It's not fair.


mariposai said...

Try not to compare yourself to friends. Focus on you. There are so many people in this world with disordered eating habits, and it takes great strength not to be one of them.

Don't be one of them. You are allowed to eat without feeling compelled to exercise as well. Eating is not a privilege, but a right. Be nice to your body, treat it as a friend, rather than an enemy.

Sarah x

Anonymous said...

Aww dear, I'm sorry about your grandad.
Don't let weight bother you too much. You can watch what you eat, but don't let it get to you. You are beautiful, no matter what your body looks like.


les jeune fille à les oiseaux said...

i agree with mariposai: don't compare yourself to your friends. we're all such different types of people, looks and personality, that it's hard to make any comparisons between one person to another. my opinion? i think you're pretty wonderful.

Sairs said...

you are you hun and you are beautiful and special just the way you are. everyone is different and it is the differences that makes us all unique and special. just be you, we don't want anyone else, just you! i think you are awesome :-)