First off, I'm sorry if the content of this post makes any of you feel awkward...don't read it if you don't want to.
So yesterday I had my every-few-month break down and cry at church session. It started weirdly, we were talking about prophecy which is a subject which I'm a little unsure about...we had to prophesy over other people by writing down what we think God is saying and giving it too them, it's pretty challenging. Well I hate this kind of thing, because it challenges me and I always think God is ignoring me because I don't feel like he talks to me. Anyway this stressed me out so bad I just started crying. My mentor came and talked to me, and I told her everything, about how incredibly rubbish and feeling pretty worthless.
WELL today I got an email from a friend in Canada who I haven't spoken to for a few months. She emailed saying:
Ok so I'm not sure how much you know about prophecy but theres some stuff in 1 Corinthians 12 and 14 if you are interested- I also got an email from Cohesion about a prophecy course so if you went I would love to hear all about it! Well, I was thinking about you the other day and I got some pitures/ words from God for you so I hope it encourages you or speaks to you in some way. The first picture I got was of a salmon and I think ( I haven't checked!) its salmon who swim upstream pretty much their whole life. So I saw this fish splashing about struggling to travel upstream. I felt God really speaking about something maybe you are struggling with- I got the word spiritual dryness and that maybe you aren't recieving much/ as much as you would like from God? But I'm not always spot on with this kind of stuff!- that you will have to trust him in and keep persevering like the salmon even when things get really tough. I also got the word encourager and that its something God will really gift you in and use to build others up around you. Incorporated into that is that God really wants to encourage you and reveal more of his heart for you. Your identity is in Jesus Christ not in the world and he really wants to affirm you with words of knowledge- mainly that you are his daughter and you are so precious to him, that he loves you and is proud of you! You have a strength in yourself you don't always realise you have and I feel God telling me there is going to be a big step up in your faith in the near future. Remember 1 John 4:16-18. God is love and his perfect love drives out any fear. Don't let the enemy get a foothold in your life, whatever you are struggling with, give it to Jesus- he can take it!
I was speechless! It was all so accurate, and those last few parts are the same as some one else's prophesy last night. It was so so reassuring. God is good :) I've felt amazing all day.