Wednesday, 7 April 2010

What A Huge Bum.

Okay. No denying it. I need to loose weight. Badly. Sorry.

Although I've been having a good few days (had a fab dinner party with friends last night)my mind is in a really difficult place (when is it not?!) I need to loose at least 11 pounds. Soon. I'm desperate, it's eating me up inside. I just eat and eat and eat.

Last night I realised that the shape I am right now might be my natural shape, and that scared the crap out of me, surely this flabby bum and huge thighs isn't me? I need to be small, and stop taking up space. I don't deserve to have a healthy body. My plan: take my calorie intake down slowly, start going to the gym more and try not to weigh myself too much.

Since you all give such good advice, I thought I should use my (fabulous) resources and ask some help from you. Here is the story:
My friend Y borrowed £50 from me, and said she had posted it to me first class last week. But it hasn't come. I have rung her, texted her, facebooked her, everything and she hasn't got in contact with me. I don't want to be that girl who gets annoying about getting money back, but it's really stressing me out and I really need the money back. What should I do? I'm ringing her a ton and just don't know what to do!!!

Plan for the next week:

Today: Gym and get school work done.
Thursday: Go to Leeds with Mum, gym in the evening.
Friday: Gym in day time, watch 'Blind Side' at the cinema in the evening.
Saturday: haircut, maybe gym.
Sunday: Finish all school work.

Sorry for the dull post, just wanted to get some thoughts out!


mariposai said...

Aw chick don't punish yourself unnecessarily by restricting/gym going...I very much doubt you are overweight and need to lose. It's hard to accept a healthy body when women are routinely taught by media and those around them to hate their bodies, but better to be healthy and a natural shape than unhealthily skinny and ill...

I'm sorry to hear your friend has not paid you back...seems like you've done all you can, and if she is a true friend she'll get that money back to you somehow.

Ooh I'm going to Leeds with my mum too, but on Friday...if I had been going on Thursday we may well have crossed paths :-D

Sarah x

Andy said...

Sarah is right, you shouldn't punish yourself, most likely the voice telling you need to lose is ED's and we all know how much of a liar he is. Don't fall into his trap.

About your friend, I suppose keep trying to get in touch with her, and hopefully she sends the money.

Sorry for such a monotonous comment. I'm not sure what I've become.

Love, Andy

i love bows:) said...

hey baby

i think your fabulous just the way you are.i really do mean that babe.But i kno that feeling very well myself.its such a bitch to fight.the thing is sweetie, with an eating disorder-there is never so much thing as hitting a perfect weight.there wont ever be.please be careful, but know that i will always think your brilliant and be here to support you. Think about your pro/con list.dont make yourself even more unhappy my lovely.

maybe your friend doesnt have the money but is too embaressed to tell you?


les jeune fille à les oiseaux said...

hello darling!
oh, don't i know the money situation all too well. is there ever going to be a time when you'll see her face to face? if not, wait two days and then call/text again. make it quite clear that if you don't have the money in two days (after that phone call) she can never borrow money from you again because it's become ridiculous. i hope you get your money :( !!

and no, i'm not a writer. ha ha. at least, not professionally. but i suppose recreationally we are all writers :)

sunshine said...

Heyy you :) So I'm not going to tell you to not restrict or not go to the gym cause I'd be a hypocrit and I don't really fancy being one so instead I'll be a mother hen - everything in moderation and you'll be healthy hun and that's what matters.

Take care, you are fab just as you are. xxx

Lila Rose said...

Hello! Thankyou for your comment, big bang theory is amazing! Haha :)
As for lending money to your friend, been there and done that. It took, I kid you not, 1 and a half years to get back to me. Horrible! I'm not friends with her anymore! (not because of the money), but it was awkward when we went out and she would buy all these clothes and stuff I'd just stand there like hmm technically that's my jacket haha :) :)
Lots of hugs xoxoxo