I have my first counselling session tomorrow. I can't even remember why I'm going. I'm so stupid - what was I thinking?? I'm being too indulgent to let myself go to counselling. What am I going to even say?! I feel sad. I don't no why. That's it! Obviously there is the stuff with my parents (refer to last post) but isn't that normal teenage stuff?
Yesterday my boyfriend gave me a dilemma - not a bad one, just a dilemma. This is how the conversation went
Boyfriend (let's shorten it to B: "Ellie...I've got a question, and I need you to answer it by tomorrow. Do you want to come to Canada with me for a week next Summer?" (We have a friend that moved there).
B: It's £430 for flights, and I want to go at the end of June.
Me: Hell Yes!!
B: Great, I'm booking tickets tomorrow
At this point in the conversation I suddenly realised that we would be going in 9 months time. Me and B have only been together 3 months and there is NO guarantee we will be together in 9 months time. If he broke up with me, a 20 hour flight with him would be hell. I really couldn't do it. SOOOOO I chickened out. I've decided if we are still going out 2 months before I will just book a ticket myself. Did I make the right decision?
One of the reasons I thought we might not be together in 9 months is because of how things have been between us recently (prepare yourself for a jealous girlfriend paragraph). B has just started uni, and is sharing a flat with a really nice girl called SJ. I like her, but he talks about her SO much. I ask him what he's been up to "ohhh me and SJ stayed up till 5 just chatting" urmmm...what?! And I know that she's his type. Luckily she has a boyfriend. I just re read that paragraph and it sounds so silly.
Okay, enough moaning for now, hope you're all having a good Monday!!