Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Update: I'm back!

My break is over, it lasted a whole week and a half!

Hey, guess what? I'm finally ready to talk about the sexual abuse that happened when I was younger with someone. I haven't had the courage or strength to ever talk about it properly, so I'm meeting up with my mentor and just going to spill out the memory, I see it like a purge of my past, getting the memory out, so hopefully it will have less power over me.

Right listen up: I NEED TO STOP DRINKING. I went out on Monday night, got far to drunk and ended up at some random guys house. Oupps! Luckily nothing major happened with him (I've decided not to have any more one night stands.) The next day I felt awful. I dragged myself to work and did my job very badly. This really isn't good enough, I need to stop this silliness.

Okay, I know this post is very here and there but I wanted to ask for some opinions about what I should do after January when my Christmas temporary job finishes.

Option one: When I finish working I take some time off working until February after a family holiday.
Option two: Start looking for a new job straight after I finish this one.
Possible option three: There is a small possibility that they might offer me a job, in which case I have no idea if I'd even want it, the people there aren't very nice.

If you were me, which would you do?


Lisa said...

Hey hun! I'm glad you're back and glad you're going to talk to someone!! This is a great step! And I made the same decision about one night stands and drinking a month or so ago for the same reasons as you.

I would go with option number 1 just so you have time to recuperate bc I assume talking about some really emotional things of your past will be quite emotionally trying. And it could cause a potential relapse if you get stressed with other things or you could hide behind your job as well. I'd def go with one.

:) xoxo

Sairs said...

I think option one too. Let yourself have a break and then start looking. If you look straight away and the have to take time off, that doesn't look good in a new job. Just my opinion, remember, the choice is yours to make :-)

Z. said...

I'm so glad that you are brave enough to talk about it! You are doing something so so so good for yourself in that way. I have a friend who's eating disorder is getting worse and worse-- I'm the only one that knows about it. And its because of sexual abuse. She just can't talk about it. I'm really worried for her because she is starting to sound suicidal. I'm glad you are pro-active about the difficult things in your life. HUGS!

Incredible Eating Anorexics said...

I'd be looking all the time for other jobs. you can apply, go to interviews, etc, u dont have to take anything your offered, but at least then you might have options when your contract ends, if your not kept on. x

Anonymous said...

It's great that you're ready to talk about the abuse. I know that doing that is not easy, but I think it can be helpful to process it. I remember what Shrinkiepoo said to me when I told him about my assaults: "I'm sorry you had to go through that." That meant so much for me to hear, and I will always remember it.

So let me be the first to say I'm sorry you had to go through that.

As for the job situation-- either option one or two. A vacation sounds nice, so you might want to wait until after you return. I would love to get away somewhere.

Wishing you well,