Monday, 23 August 2010

Cornwall and an issue with Mother.

Right now I am sitting in the holiday house on my own. The rest of the family has gone to the beach but I fancied some down time, and what better to do than blog?

Yesterday my mum said "Let's go for a walk, burn off those cals." She says things like this every now and the and it annoys me! I pointed out to her how it's not good for my younger sister to be brought up thinking that it's normal to have to "burn off cals" or "burn off dinner". Was I being over sensitive? Does it really matter if my sister hears these things?

My mum said something else which I have an issue with. "Ellie, we have different body shapes, you're more...curvy, like one of those Greek statues." For some reason, this really bugged me. It's her way of saying that I'm 'bigger' than her. She didn't mean it in a malicious way, but it really cut me. I can't wait to get back to the gym.

A decision. I'm not confident enough to let my boyfriend see me naked. So, I will tone up then will. I'm too scared of what he might think. The last time we went out I was 8-9lbs less.

My brain is screwing me up.


Anonymous said...

My dear, you were right for talking to your mom about what she said. It is not healthy for your sister to hear that.
Oh, I know what you feel. My mom always said I was curvier than my twin sister in front of my little sister. Now, my little sister doesn't eat much because she is scared of what mother would say. The funny part is that now that my weight is too low for my height, she complains about me not eating enough.
Life happens, we have to deal with it.
Don't care what people think about your body.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad you stood up for yourself/your little sister. That takes a lot of strength. And maybe I'm wrong, but I think the word "curvy" is a complement! In my world, it doesn't mean "fat" but just... curvy. I hope your mum didn't mean it insultingly. But if she did, I can COMPLETELY understand why you took issue with it.

Also, I am 100% sure that your boyfriend likes you not because of your body but because of your person.


Wishing you well,

mariposai said...

Well done for addressing this with your mum and being assertive. It's such a shame that attitudes like these are so widespread. And like NOS says, curvy does not mean fat, and I'm sure that your boyfriend loves you for who you are, not what shape or weight you might be.

Sarah x

Angela said...

Good job for setting boundaries with your mom. I have to do the same thing with my mom. She is always talking about how much fat and calories are in certain foods. It is good that you can educate her, and hopefully save your younger sister from an ED.
I think your ED is telling you that you need to change your body before your boyfriend sees you. Try not to listen to that voice.
Sending hugs:)

i love bows:) said...

hey my lovely little ellie!

i think you were really brave. I felt like i was in a constant competitive state with my mumabout weight and shape, mostly pushed and fuelled by hear.what i now know in hindsight is that its your ED that is listening to it and interpreting it in that, your not being oversensitive, setting up that mindset in a youngster can be a really bad thng. but maybe your mum doesnt realise it. beacause your struggles are so very private, im pretty sure she woulld be more mindful if she knew.

and heck, els, ive seen pics your gorgeous. and curvy-fuck it, im curvy and im brilliant hahhahahhahah joking lol.

curvy-not a bad thing. it doesnt mean fat. it actually relates to the shpae you were born with, destined to be however much you fight it, its in your genes.and it does not mean fat!!it means hips, and shapliness, and womanliness-all of rich boys love!

oh-and about the naked thing. boy much too concerned with fact that he is with naked girl about to have some, and so chuffedthat you would be with him, and overwhelmed, that he aint gonna notice or care about your weight.

trust me.

LOVE YOU and if you nned an escape, come visiting lol


i love bows:) said...

actually els-dammit i wanna see you hahahahahhhahhaha


les jeune fille à les oiseaux said...

I agree that your younger sister does not need to hear those things. I don't think that you were being oversensitive at all. Better to be safe than sorry, right?

And I think that she meant that in a good way, actually. Your mom, I mean. It's so hard because we hear something and immediately the devil tries to twist it to become something else. But just know that being compared to a Greek statue is a good thing, because the Greeks were obsessed with physical perfection :)