Christian camp was... interesting. I really wish I could say I had a good week...but that would be lying so... the truth? I had a really bad time. I completely isolated myself and felt so miserable and had so little energy. I cried every day, and just felt so messed up.
So why did I feel so bad? Guilt. For one night stands, having sex with my boyfriend, drinking, being greedy and feeling fat. I know God doesn't want me to feel guilty, and forgives me, but the guilt is eating. me. up.
I don't know what to do about anything. My life is falling apart at the seams. I have no idea what to do in this next year, I don't know if I want to stay with my boyfriend, I can't understand my body, and I have no grasp on controlling my food intake ( binging big time). A level results come on Thursday which I am FREAKING OUT about. I'm 18 in less than 2 weeks, which feels scary because I don't want to grow up. I can't deal.
RANT RANT RANT that's all I do these days!! Someone fancy picking me out of this silly black hole?
1. Any suggestions of how to get out of a dark patch?
2. Why don't rabbits have helicopters?