Monday, 26 July 2010

Attempting to get back to normal.

Before I went on holiday I was really pleased with my eating pattern, but since returning I'm struggling, yesterday I restricted, I'm binging, and just generally struggling to eat normally and sanely. I'm going to Venice tomorrow with my family, which I'm excited about. I think being with my family for 3 meals a day will be really good for me as I will hopefully be able to get into a pattern.

I have been having a lot of very negative thoughts about myself, I can't WAIT to get back to the gym to tone up (NOT loose weight, just get toned).

Things with the boyfriend are going well, he's SO supportive and kind and funny (can you tell I'm falling for him?!) Only problem: I go to the clinic a week today for my STI test, but then I have to wait 3 months for a HIV test, so can I have sex with my boyfriend before the HIV test? I'm so clueless! We agreed it's best to wait until the results of the first STI test before we have sex. I'm seeing him today, should I tell him that I have to wait 3 months for a HIV test, and see what he wants to do? I'm so confused! See children, this is why you NEVER have unprotected sex!!!

My life is so up in the air at the moment, I don't feel stable, I'm not at home for more than a week (I go camping after Venice, then then to Cornwall), and in between this travelling I have big life events (A level results, 18th birthday, looking for a job) I just feel scared of the fact that I have to grow up and start taking responsibility.

Okay, enough of the moaning!!

Thank you for the feedback on my "what to do with no budget" question - my mum, sister and I ended up having a very enjoyable shopping trip, and I've started re organising my room! Today I am going to for a walk with the boyfriend...all for free :D

5 comments:

beldam said...

i feel scared about growing up too. my dad is pushing me to learn how to drive and he even started talkign about how i can take part in his business when i turn 18 and all of that terrifies me.

mariposai said...

Have a great time in Venice! Sounds like you are very busy this summer...good luck with the tests - I hope everything turns out ok for you.

Sarah x

Lund3on said...

Venice as in Italy or Venice Beach??

Lillie said...

The STI test thing is happening to me too! Except...it's just a routine check up, and also to make sure my boyfriend's not caught anything, just by accidently using someone else needle, thinking it was his (he takes amphetamine...i don't...whatever does it matter? :P)
Anyhow! They say you can't have sex for ten days before...then i went and they said i had to wait for 3 months to make sure of something....i don't even rememeber what it was...i had sex with him then anyways, we just used a condom for a bit, even though i have an implant. After you get your first results... and I know it's a pain... but I'd just say use a condom because it protects from HIV, and that's what you'd be worried about so long and everything else is okay :) Hope you managed to make some sense out of that? Basically. BE SAFE :D

virginia said...

hey i just started reading your blog, i love your honesty :] i "used" to have a SERIOUS bingeing problem until i read "intuitive eating" by evelyn tribole. i say "used" to have a problem, because although i've stopped, i believe that's it's absolutely pivotal to not take recovery for granted. I strongly suggest you read it, it changed/it's changing my life sooo much!! for the better, of course :]

much love, virginia