My mood has been CRAPPY and CONFUSING today and yesterday. I feel, I don't know, dirty? Here's why: Well the ex asked me out, and of course I said yes because I really like him, and am so pleased to be back with him. BUT I CAN'T GET THE FLING FROM THE HOLIDAY OUT OF MY HEAD. He's invited me and my friends up to Brighton and I really want to go (not for romance, although I know I would be tempted). I keep thinking about him and I don't know why! We both agreed it was only physical, no strings attached.
See I read that paragraph back and it makes me sad. I never thought I would be a one night girl, and now I love them. They've made me scared of relationships, because emotions and boys don't seem like a safe mix. Basically I'm scared. All these confusing negative thoughts have caused a two day binge (no purges) which have been making me feel even more negative.
I need to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. I feel so trapped here. I want to escape. Do something. But everything seems to cost money which I don't have.
1. Any suggestions of things I can do on a low budget?
2. How do I get over fear of commitment/ trust issues?
ps Thank you for the amazing comments, I love each and every one of you.