Monday, 5 March 2012

Resisting A Binge.

Yesterday night after dinner the inevitable 'binge pangs' started. If you haven't experienced binge pangs they are horrific. I imagine it's a little how a drug addict feels when they need a hit. You are consumed with the need to eat. Consumed, overwhelmed, obsessed. All you can think about is the food. You feel on edge and jittery. Your mind does this funny thing where it tricks you into thinking one small binge will be fine, and actually you won't feel bad this time. This time you really NEED the binge.
Last night I was close, so close to a binge. I had a start-of-binge (one jammy dodger, one piece of toast, one ryvita) and the urge to carry on, to eat more and more was overwhelming. But somehow, I resisted. This is a massive step for me as I never manage to resist. I was physically shaking I wanted a binge so much but I KNEW I would be glad later if I didn't. So I fought it. It was hard, draining and tiring but I feel quite proud of myself now.

Today I am going shopping with my best friend. Very exciting! On Wednesday I am giving myself a treat. I am going to a lovely bakery with a friend and letting myself have a piece of cake. This is something to look forward to, and I've given myself permission not to feel bad about it.

I lost another pound :) 


becca; said...

well done for resisting the urge and for losing another pound! xo.

LoliClown said...

I've never experienced a binge pang before, but it sounds similar how I feel when I need caffeine. Unlike you though, I always give into the caffeine. I guess that's how addiction works. Kudos to you for resiting! Keep up the good work. :D

Leigh said...

That's amazing, all around. Congrats to you for everything. It takes incredible strength to resist a binge. I hope you can hold onto that triumph, and remember it the next time the pangs start. Maybe this is the key to reocvery.

Keep going hun. We can beat this!