Adios max and 10 calorie jelly.

I've had a deranged few days. I mean just plain SILLY. Yesterday I ate a ridiculous amount in the day and went out for a meal with my best friend, got home. Purged big time, bleeding throat etc.etc. Not so pretty. I don't really know where this came from, I haven't done a sober purge for a long time. But (because I still have an eating disordered brain) I enjoyed it. That satisfying thought "this was in my body and now it's not, I successfully purged" was very much there.
Then after this pure SILLYNESS I toddled of to the shops this morning and brought: 16 cans diet coke, 5 ten calorie jelly pots, 4 weight watchers soup cans. Then I did something really bad. A new step...I brought scales. My own scales. I am used to borrowing my friend so I could only weigh myself once a week. This is a bad move on my part and I know it was have bad repercussions. That's not all. I brought Adios max diet pills. I'm a student with no money yet I buy these. I got home all excited, got online and read the reviews.The ingredient in them 'fucus' is actually not proved to do ANYTHING. The main side affect is hair loss. Urmmmm no thanks, I swear I already have a receding hair line (cringe) I don't need any help loosing more hair!

Has anyone tried them? Results?

Gok's teens and tactical chundering.

Last weeks episode of Gok Wan's new programme 'Gok's teens' really brought up some issues for me with this type of programme.
Basically for those who didn't see it Gok is addressing teen issues. Last week's episode addressed body confidence. It featured one fifteen year old recovering for anorexia and one girl who likes pro ana websites. He was basically trying to show how unrealistic magazine pictures are/ 'helping' teens embrace their natural size. The problem I have is that these type of problems tend to do the opposite. Maybe it's just me but they trigger me. I think that showing teens what these other teens want (that they should be thin/aspire to be skinny) makes me feel out of the norm in that I'm trying to stop thinking like this. Plus the photos from pro ana sites triggered me. Hmph. Maybe it's just me. I think these programmes need to be very careful. I think that by raising awareness of these pro ana websites, it steers people towards them, doing the exact opposite of what the show wants. What do you think??

In other news, I am currently on university placement and loving it, but with the twelve and a half hour shifts comes a hellova lot of food. Leading to weight gain. Leading to weight loss. Helllllo diet coke!! I purged last night for the first time in ages, but mainly because I'd had three glasses of wine and was feeling a little drunk which I don't really like. But the purge felt satisfying. (People in England call purging when drunk 'tactical chundering', it's widely accepted as a form of stopping yourself getting too drunk. Scary eh?)