I had the pizza! Hallelujah!

So as I mentioned in my last post, I was having difficulty about the meal out I went on last night. I decided as long as I didn't have a starter, dessert or any drink but water it would be okay. I had a DELICIOUS vegetarian pizza and ate the whole thing. Today I restricted a little at breakfast and lunch (172 cal cereal and half a can of soup) but ate.....an Indian take away for dinner! I used to be so so scared of these takeaways, but tonight  no problem!

I've just come back from the gym and since I haven't gone for sooo long (like 3 months) I didn't realise they close at 8:30 on the weekends which is a bit rubbish. But I still got a good intense 35 minutes of cardio in.

Thanks for the encouragement yesterday my lovelies!

Difficulty with a meal out.

First off, thank you for the support you gave me about my boss, I read it back and thought I sounded over sensitive, but basically there is more to the story - this boss has always been a big snide with me. She once said  "Wow, you actually do give blondes a terrible name" She said this in all seriousness.She always looks like she has a bad smell under her nose.

Secondly my headaches have gone, and I went back to work yesterday.

Anyway, back to the title. I'm going out for a meal with my friends tonight and because I've been ill I've lost weight. I'm reluctant to go back to a 'normal' diet. I was in the shower calculating my calories for the day, and trying to figure out what I could cut out to make enough deficit for this meal out. I suddenly realised this is quite an eating disordered behaviour. So I have given myself permission to eat what I want at that meal out, I'm actually really nervous. Here is what I will be eating pre meal:

breakfast: Wheetabix.
Lunch: Tomato soup, 1 piece of bread.
Snack: Spinach leaves (I do genuinely love spinach leaves...and brussel sprouts).
Dinner: Who knows! Could be salad with dressing on the side, could be a massive pizza!

Is this a bit harsh or am I being over-sensitive?

I was off work yesterday because I haven't been able to get up - I have a killer headache. You know that feeling you get after you bang your head? I have that non stop. Painkillers aren't working. The doctor said it was sinusitis. But my dad who is also a doctor doesn't think it is. I've been sick a few times as well. I have no appetite and my sleep has been very broken.

So yesterday my mum called in work for me to explain the situation and say I couldn't come in. Okay. Done. Today is my day off and I don't think I'm going to be well enough to go in tomorrow. My dad calls in to explain this (he's a Dr and I thought he'd be better at explaining) but my boss asks to speak to me. She then has a go at me saying that I have to call in before 9 and explain why, saying that it's just common sense (she says this in a really harsh way) I then explain how I've been feeling and she's like...call before 9 tomorrow to let us know if you're coming in, Urmmm....what?! Yesterday my mum was told to call today.


Sometimes people really piss me off.

Sorry for the double post but this has got to be seen.

This is so sad. When she's at the table with a hat on, a coat on, obviously freezing. It's just incredibly sad.

WARNING: THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PLDBITfHYA&feature=related

ps. In part two she says "I always thought that if there is something wrong with me people would care about me more." This is what I've felt for so long.

Can't get away from the calories.

I can't get away from this eating disorder. It's always there, in the back (or in today's case front) of my mind. I have been weighing myself everyday (not acting on it) and have been monitoring what I eat very carefully. For example I'll eat lunch (this is still progress) but it will have to be one of the low cal low fat choices. I went to Mcdonalds with my friends last night and was hungry, but since I'd had a small dinner I didn't want to 'feel fat' so had a bottle of water. Plus I'm still totally triggered by others losing weight.

Day 3 of the 30 day challenge: Post a picture of the cast of your favourite TV show.

How I met your mother

Love you all, thanks for the advice on running!


ps. I'm currently watching Edward Scissorhands. I love Jonny Depp in this, he's just so cute.

My life in 30 days- day two.

I am making this a short post, I'm off to church quite soon. I've been totally isolating myself recently. I haven't talked to any of my old uni friends. But oddly enough I haven't felt lonely...I'm quite content with my own company sometimes.

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.

This is me and my best friend C. We went to the same secondary school and moved to the same sixth form together. She's at uni now and I miss her like mad!

Questions

1.  I've never been a good runner, does anyone have any tips on how to start?

2. How old do you want to be when you get married/settle down?

My life in thirty days - day one.

15 facts.

1. I love the gym. But unfortunatly I have gotten out of the habit since I started working.
2. (Okay this ones an embarrassing one) I've probably kissed about 40 guys. I've only been out with like 3 of them. I don't know most of them (alcohol is BAD).
3. As much as I complain about living here, I love England - the fashion, the unpredictable weather, those eccentric little villages where everyone knows everyone else.
4. I love crappy, trashy TV my favourite being ' The only way is Essex' followed by 'Take me out'.
5. I would rather have a speed boat than a nice car.
6. I'm quite traditional. I want to get married and have kids. I'm not very career driven.
7. I have three piercings. I am trying to get the third (navel piercing) to heal up.
8. I work in an underwear shop. The comments I get off guys about this are very amusing.
9.  Everyone that meets me for the first time thinks I'm a 'good girl' or as someone put it 'a stuck up cow'. The more people get to know me, the more people realise this isn't true.
10. One side of my wants to live in a tree house in the wild. The other wants to live in a palace.
11. People who aren't scared of commitment confuse me, I'm terrified of it!
12. I  prefer savoury food to sweet food.
13. I worry I'm predictable.
14. I don't trust counsellors.
15. I can't leave my house without make up. Can't be done.