Is this a bit harsh or am I being over-sensitive?

I was off work yesterday because I haven't been able to get up - I have a killer headache. You know that feeling you get after you bang your head? I have that non stop. Painkillers aren't working. The doctor said it was sinusitis. But my dad who is also a doctor doesn't think it is. I've been sick a few times as well. I have no appetite and my sleep has been very broken.

So yesterday my mum called in work for me to explain the situation and say I couldn't come in. Okay. Done. Today is my day off and I don't think I'm going to be well enough to go in tomorrow. My dad calls in to explain this (he's a Dr and I thought he'd be better at explaining) but my boss asks to speak to me. She then has a go at me saying that I have to call in before 9 and explain why, saying that it's just common sense (she says this in a really harsh way) I then explain how I've been feeling and she's like...call before 9 tomorrow to let us know if you're coming in, Urmmm....what?! Yesterday my mum was told to call today.


Sometimes people really piss me off.

Sorry for the double post but this has got to be seen.

This is so sad. When she's at the table with a hat on, a coat on, obviously freezing. It's just incredibly sad.

WARNING: THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PLDBITfHYA&feature=related

ps. In part two she says "I always thought that if there is something wrong with me people would care about me more." This is what I've felt for so long.

Can't get away from the calories.

I can't get away from this eating disorder. It's always there, in the back (or in today's case front) of my mind. I have been weighing myself everyday (not acting on it) and have been monitoring what I eat very carefully. For example I'll eat lunch (this is still progress) but it will have to be one of the low cal low fat choices. I went to Mcdonalds with my friends last night and was hungry, but since I'd had a small dinner I didn't want to 'feel fat' so had a bottle of water. Plus I'm still totally triggered by others losing weight.

Day 3 of the 30 day challenge: Post a picture of the cast of your favourite TV show.

How I met your mother

Love you all, thanks for the advice on running!


ps. I'm currently watching Edward Scissorhands. I love Jonny Depp in this, he's just so cute.

My life in 30 days- day two.

I am making this a short post, I'm off to church quite soon. I've been totally isolating myself recently. I haven't talked to any of my old uni friends. But oddly enough I haven't felt lonely...I'm quite content with my own company sometimes.

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.

This is me and my best friend C. We went to the same secondary school and moved to the same sixth form together. She's at uni now and I miss her like mad!

Questions

1.  I've never been a good runner, does anyone have any tips on how to start?

2. How old do you want to be when you get married/settle down?

My life in thirty days - day one.

15 facts.

1. I love the gym. But unfortunatly I have gotten out of the habit since I started working.
2. (Okay this ones an embarrassing one) I've probably kissed about 40 guys. I've only been out with like 3 of them. I don't know most of them (alcohol is BAD).
3. As much as I complain about living here, I love England - the fashion, the unpredictable weather, those eccentric little villages where everyone knows everyone else.
4. I love crappy, trashy TV my favourite being ' The only way is Essex' followed by 'Take me out'.
5. I would rather have a speed boat than a nice car.
6. I'm quite traditional. I want to get married and have kids. I'm not very career driven.
7. I have three piercings. I am trying to get the third (navel piercing) to heal up.
8. I work in an underwear shop. The comments I get off guys about this are very amusing.
9.  Everyone that meets me for the first time thinks I'm a 'good girl' or as someone put it 'a stuck up cow'. The more people get to know me, the more people realise this isn't true.
10. One side of my wants to live in a tree house in the wild. The other wants to live in a palace.
11. People who aren't scared of commitment confuse me, I'm terrified of it!
12. I  prefer savoury food to sweet food.
13. I worry I'm predictable.
14. I don't trust counsellors.
15. I can't leave my house without make up. Can't be done.

What's happened to childhood?

I stumbled across these awful comments on a website that made me so sad.

"hi i just turned twelve and i really need some help my best friend is having a pool party in two weeks and my body is disgusting i cant even look at my self i weigh about 106 and im about 4’11 id really like some tips on how to become anorexic and fast thank =]"


"i am 5 4 and 110 and trying so hard not to eat, but sometimes i let it get the best of me. how do you only drink orange juice for breakfast and that is it. how do you stay motivated. do you exercise. help me i want to loose 15 lbs and be like nicole richie."


"I'm 11 years old..
i am 5’4 and 148.8 lbs.
i want to become skinny before the summer..
so i can go swimming at the public pool..
& wear my two peice..
and i dont want to feel down or disgusted of the way i look..
I always think of starving myself the next day..
but then i eat.."


There are so many more comments like this, all from such young girls. My heart really goes to them, I remember being 11 and thinking I was so fat. And wanting to not eat. 


This type of thing makes me scared to have kids, especially a girl, I'm scared she'll get an eating disorder and... god forbid have my terrible genes!


How are we meant to stop this 'want to be anorexic' pandemic? 
There are the obvious answers (stop skinny models/get more diversity in the media) but I think it's more deep rooted than this. What are we meant to do??

Christmas week recap.

What a week it's been! Lots of Christmas activities, but mainly work. I would normally complain but I got paid double today AND tomorrow. I feel very blessed to have this job,even if at times I don't like it.

On Christmas day I was feeling a little down and tired, but soon cheered up when playing family games with our fabulous cousins. I had NO issues with the food, and have been fine today. What a lovely change from last year...when I panicked all day about what I was eating. What a year can do eh? So no new years diet for me. Which funnily enough is how this blog started: with a new year's resolution to record my weight loss.

Great news: I got offered a job at my current temp job. Even though I don't like it all that much, it's improving gradually. I said I only want to work three days a week as I don't want my whole week to revolve around work. Now I just need some ideas of what to do for the other 4 days! Hopefully volunteering one day a week, and that leaves me 3 days of who knows what.

Good luck to you all for this next year.